Genuinely faking it

There are some questions that you just don't have answers for. Relationship-wise, a question that has probably been around forever is - 'can a guy and a girl be just friends'? While there maybe five in every 10 people who disagree, rest assured, there will be six out of ten who will agree. Looking for a middle ground? Enter the 'fakelationship'.

Emma Jones

Confused? Well, an urban dictionary explains the phenomenon of a fakelationship as a friendship in which the guy and the girl talk, hang out, text, email ...well you get the drift, on a regular basis. A slight alteration in the aforementioned schedule will make either party feel like a huge chunk of their lives is simply missing.

Be warned, fakelationships don't involve hooking up or casual sex — in fact, most of them are quite platonic, but the emotional connect, the dependency upon the other individual in the fakelationship runs deep. It is sort of like there is that 'someone' in your life, yet you aren't really going out with that person.

If you are nodding your head in consent, you aren't alone. Anita Shivdas, an aspiring photographer explains, "Fakelationships are the easiest to get into, simply because you don't realize that you are in one! Most relationships, I am sure, everyone will agree, begin along the lines of a friendship. But I can admit that I have in fact, had a couple of fakelationships. It seemed like such a great idea and it did work for me quite well. But then, when things got complicated, the situation became quite messy and although I hate to admit it, I was as emotionally invested as I would be in a real relationship."

To be fair, a fakelationship necessarily need not be one all along and it can blossom into something that is real. "I ended up marrying the woman who I thought would never be anything more than a friend," says Karan Roy, a software engineer, who has been married for five years now. "Sure, there was nothing known as a fakelationship back then, but when I first met Priya (my wife), neither of us were ready for a relationship. However, we gradually found that we relied upon each other's support and connected more on an emotional level first, rather than a physical level. Two years after getting to know each other, getting married seemed like an excellent idea since we were so comfortable with each other," he reminisces.

An instance where a fakelationship would most likely work, according to Harshini Krishnan is probably when either one of the people involved in it is already married. "Well in a way it's true," she chuckles. "When you know you connect that well, emotionally, to someone and that someone happens to be married, naturally questions will pop up. Suddenly it becomes imperative that you define the relationship and you need to name it. In that case, fakelationship does in fact, save the day. It has happened to me before!" she adds.

Like all real relationships, fakelationships have the discretion of being fulfiling and disappointing, enduring as well as brief at the same time. So the real question here is how do you actually 'break up' with someone you are not dating? Well, it may take two to tango, but it takes just one to stop tangoing. The least that you can do is to walk away from it with dignity. Stop answering his/her phone calls, emails, text messages... the works! Hang out with your real friends, yes; the same ones you ignored while you were encompassed in your fakelationship. It will feel like a real relationship breakup but hey, at least you got out of it when you wanted to.

The fact remains that you have relationships with virtually everyone that you meet. Like Harishini says, "You have a relationship with your father, mother, brother, your neighbour - they are just all different kinds. As long as you know what you are getting into and are ready to face the consequences, then the world is indeed your oyster."