Signs the guy you met online is married - Lansing State Journal

Online dating can be a great way to meet new people, whether you're looking for a relationship or just hoping to get back in the dating scene. That said, you may end up meeting a few less than savory characters when meeting people online. This doesn't mean the person is out to get you, but he may be actively involved with someone else. Here are tips to watch for when getting to know a guy online to ensure he isn't attached to someone else.

1. Watch for consistency

Make sure his story adds up. There's nothing wrong with getting to know someone slowly and not revealing too much of yourself too soon, but if the guy says one thing online and then another over the phone, watch out. Not everyone can keep lies straight. Some men are prone to slip up, even if they have bad intentions and think they're minding their P's and Q's. Take your time getting to know a guy online before proceeding to phone conversations.

2. Watch what hours he's available

Is the guy only available in the middle of the night? Only during work hours? Never on the weekend? Watch for things like this. If the guy has a wife and kids, he probably won't be available in the evening or on the weekends. If he can only bother to IM with you at midnight, it may be because his wife's in bed.

3. He pays cash all of the time

When a guy pays cash for things, it could just be it's easy for him. Or, it could mean he's hiding his activities from someone. It's one thing to pay for ice cream with cash, but if you randomly grab a hotel room after meeting for lunch, and he plunks down 200 bucks in cash, you have to wonder. Besides hotel rooms, check for restaurants, movie dates and any traveling the two of you might do together.

4. He doesn't talk to you over the phone

A guy who is married may not be able to talk to you over the phone. If he's reluctant to talk on the phone it may be because he has someone he's hiding things from. Many in the online dating scene may not move forward to phone calls quickly, so if he doesn't want to talk to you over the phone right away, don't jump to conclusions. If you have chatted with him for several weeks and things aren't moving forward to a phone conversation, that could be a red flag.

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5. He's only into kinky sex

If the guy is getting it at home, it may be lukewarm. This is why he's on the hunt for someone else to appease the things he'd like to experiment with. Guys who are married sometimes feel intimidated by their wives and won't ask for kinky sex, even if it's on the tamer side of kinky. If the guy hits the ground running with kinky sex, it could be because that's all he's really interested in. Most guys who are looking for a relationship, even a light one, will ease into kinky sex.

6. He skips out when chatting online

If this guy plants it at the desk to chat with you, there's a chance his wife will come in the room periodically and this could result in abruptly ending a conversation. It can happen a couple of times, but if it's happening often, keep your eyes peeled for other signs.

7. He only wants to meet up in certain spots

If you can only meet him at certain restaurants or certain movie theaters, it may be a sign that he can't be seen in some areas. Why? He may be worried about running into his wife, or even running into co-workers or family friends.

8. Your gut is telling you something is wrong

Despite this list and all of the lists out there that tell you what to look for when someone's married, you may just have to trust your gut. Women's intuition is pretty strong, so if something inside is telling you that something's up, go with it. This doesn't mean you have to cut things off, but it does mean you should be aware of his actions and don't let yourself fall too hard, too fast.