Most online daters over 50 love results - msnbc.com
Love. You gotta love it.
And the place to find it today is online. Or so you claim.
Only 18 of the 327 of you who responded to my recent survey on online dating were negative about the Internet dating community catering to singles over 50.
Why the surge in online dating interest? OurTime.com, a singles dating site, points out someone turns 50 every seven seconds today, on average. The 50-plus demographic is the fastest growing in the country. It includes 78 million baby boomers, and a whopping 30 percent of them are single.
Single and, for the most part, seeking love, romance and companionship at almost any age.
What is surprising is the number of men admitting to looking for love in all the dating places. Several crowed about meeting a life partner online.
And then there were guys like Russ Griswold, who complained that he couldn't use his e-mail moniker, trojangriz, although it refers, he insists, to his status as a USC alum, not a contraceptive.
Still, he says of online dating, "It's better than bar-hopping."
You wrote from Orange County, Colorado, Massachusetts and even Taiwan to tell me your tales and they were mostly positive.
Christine Baumgartner, an Orange County dating and relationship coach ( ThePerfectCatch.com ), says one of the many benefits of online dating is learning more about yourself.
"As I met men, I would find traits I liked about them and traits I didn't like about them," she writes. "I realized I had truly 'asked' for both traits, which led me to perfecting what I wanted and needed and clearly asking for it in my profile.
"By doing this, I discovered as I asked for new and different traits, the men with these new traits began showing up. ... It was so empowering to ask for and then receive what I asked for."
But "Merijoe" says the dating sites are "all full of crap. ... You don't know who or what you are communicating with. Most of all the 10 to 15 men I spoke with weren't what they said they were (i.e., their pictures were outdated by 20 years, not very handsome or even good looking, did not have the education or jobs they claimed to have)."
"Jennifer" (who accuses me of attempting vicarious living and says, "Why don't you try it for yourself?"), says online dating won't get you anywhere if your physical appearance is not "20 years younger" and in good shape. Men, she says, often turn out to be looking for a caregiver or "a nurse with a purse."
Vicki Lionberger of Tustin summed it up well. In 2003, she was 51 and believed she couldn't meet quality men in Orange County without some assistance. One Friday night, she enrolled in Match.com. By Monday morning, she had 70 responses.
She sent her photo and information to six of these men, dated them over the course of seven days, closed the site after one week and, a year later, married Patrick Kersey, the sixth man on her list.
She says, "It's truly important to be as honest as possible and be true to yourself on what traits are important to you. Mr or Mrs. Right is out there waiting."
But as an aside, she adds, ""Don't forget to share the time, place and name of the person you're meeting with your friends and family for your personal safety."
Brenda Karstens Dodd of San Clemente offers what you need to know about online dating.
It takes time. You have to be committed to taking the time to weed through a lot of profiles. Ideally, take time every day or two so you don't miss new people.
Use the phone. You definitely need to talk on the phone with potential dates before meeting them.
Exercise patience. You'll likely run into a lot of "frogs" before your prince or princess shows up. And don't take rejections personally. Keep trying!
You can't believe everything you read. Some people use old photos or aren't honest.
You'll hear from a lot of people that don't fit your needs. Just grin and bear it.
There's an upside, says Dodd. She met the man she married, Ian, online four years ago.
Contact the writer: jghaas@cox.net
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