To hunt, or not to hunt, online for dates - The Vancouver Sun

Dear Dating Girl: I'm a 27-year-old female graduate student who has yet to meet someone special, having endured countless disastrous set-ups by my friends. A friend recently suggested I try online dating. I'm very hesitant about putting personal information online and, more importantly, I'm afraid I'll be recognized. You may think there's no more stigma associated with online dating but, I'm sorry, I think there is. What do you think? And lastly, do you think that a paid site like eharmony.ca would yield more "quality men" than a free site like plentyoffish.com?

-- Scared of Stigma

Dear Scared: You're right, I no longer think there is a stigma attached to online dating. But if you think otherwise, then maybe it's not for you. There are still plenty of off-line ways to meet people besides set-ups through friends.

A press release just landed in my inbox from dating expert Tristan Coopersmith listing the "10 most unusual places to 'man shop.' " Coopersmith, author of MENu DATING: Taste Test Your Way to the Main Course, says that: "Most women always look in the wrong places."

Coopersmith lists everything from the driving range to men's clothing stores and co-ed barbershops as places to meet guys. As I've always said, there is no magic place to meet people -- and yes, these days, that can mean sitting at home at your computer.

As for whether paid sites work better than free ones, again, there is no right answer. It's different for everyone.

The only way to find out what works better for you is to try them.

Dear Dating Girl: Lately, my girlfriend has been trying to "liven" up our sex life. The other day she brought out some "warming oil," which didn't really go over well, because apparently I don't have any sensitive areas, which is where you're supposed to use the stuff. I'm a pretty traditional guy when it comes to sex. Sometimes I almost feel bad about this because I know she's not getting all she wants from sex. But I'm stumped for ideas she might find exciting that I would also be comfortable trying. Any advice?

-- Insensitive Guy

Dear Insensitive: At least you're honest. Not everyone likes their sex all fancied up. But it's good that you "almost" feel bad because your partner might not be totally satisfied. It's a start. Now we just need to figure out what you would be willing to do.

Here's a suggestion: you and your girlfriend make separate lists (without the other person around) of what sexual activities you would like to try. Don't hold back. Go to the bookstore and flip through sexuality books or look online for ideas. Then combine your lists and create three columns marked "no way, Jos," "maybe," and "yeah baby!"

Then go through your lists together with an open mind and see if you can't find some common sexual ground.

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